I feel like the past few years of my life, have been all about patience. One big lesson that keeps circling back around, with lots of little sub-header lessons underneath. I think it’s because we’ve officially taken on more projects than we can count, along with waiting to relocate… so naturally, patience is an underlying theme. Like captions, my life could be broken down in one bad high school yearbook article.
With bad high school yearbook captions, that would read a little like this:
Ashley Mills {perpetual dork} fails to stop and smell the roses again.
Here, Ashley Mills pitches a small hissy fit over small basement conundrum.
Ashley Mills once again huffs exasperatedly and exits scene, stage right.
Side note: I would know, because I was totes on the yearbook staff for a few years. Thus the reason I made so many mysterious cameos, because isn’t that the rule? Staff gets to put narcissistic photos of themselves in said yearbook? Why are you nodding your head in some form of big fat non-surprise?
But thought derailment, per usual. Because as a bit of a spin off of this post on moving past design mistakes, and this one on the reality of home overhauls, we thought it was important to address the idea of patience.
Otherwise known as where’s the fire?
Sometimes, to get this…
You have to go through this.
And this.
And this.
And this.
And this.
And this. Additional side note: We look totally unstable in all of these photos.
Wow. Sometimes I forget how un-desireble our house used to be.
And then I step into the basement.
Sometimes, I take a tumble.
SOOOOON.
The dirty, not-so-fun, unintentional redos… can feel like one big character building hoorah. And it can feel like you bit off a little more than you can possibly chew.
Our point? It’s real. Bugs have crawled through my hair. I have rescued one-armed bullfrogs out of our pool, on multiple occasions. There was sewage in our basement. Actual poo. In a small pile.
It takes some guts to get there.
It probably won’t be as extreme as ours. Hopefully. Because we wouldn’t wish that on anyone. But you will probably have your own form of redo drama, even with something as seemingly simple as reupholstering a sofa… because life is life. I think it’s good to share the real, too.
We see two things when it comes to taking on a rehab: Fear, which we actually discuss a lot here. And the other side of that: impatience. Once someone decides to take on the overhaul of their home, whether it’s construction or decor, they want it done five weeks ago so they can move on with life. We get it, especially if you don’t particularly enjoy the process.
But like, where’s the fire?
So just for fun, we made a list of our favorite virtues one should be well-versed in to get them through a home redo… a few things we think deserve a mention. We believe that this list will not only help get you through those rough moments, but also ensure that you don’t make a whole lot of mistakes that you regret, later.
And a little encouragement if you’ve been there.
Because sometimes it takes the gross, hard, elbow-grease times… to get to where you want to be. In making a house your home.
1. Patience.
They don’t say it’s a virtue for no good reason.
Lost in my use of bad grammar and double negatives? Because it is.
A virtue, not grammar.
It’s an incredible thing and whether you have it, or not… you’ll definitely fine tune the art of waiting since a. nothing ever happens when you want it to {unless you live in a vacuum} and b. we’ve learned over time that it’s just not worth getting upset over. {And when I forget, I’ll come back to read this post.}
When it comes to DIY, readjust your timeline. In fact, just lower your standards completely when it comes to completing anything in a timely manner, and then add another 15 (for your completion days) per each child you have, and multiply that by thirty for your real life job.
If we’re talking actual rehabs with a contractor, double your months you thought it would take. {Per a little spin-off of this post last week – about lowering your expectations and reality.}
Whether you hire a contractor or go it your own, products are delayed, shipping services are backed up, and processes can be slow when you’re figuring it out. It’s the nature of the business. We’re from a microwave generation, and this isn’t fill-in-your-fave-hgtv-show-here. Welcome to real life. Hurray for something we can all practice a little more of.
2. Commitment.
Just being able to see it through, is a valiant character trait all it’s own, so we thought it was important to mention here.
Sheer exhaustion is enough to cause anyone to want to call it quits. After careful planning and consideration… if you have the guts to stay with it, endure all the ups and downs, and finish it up for a job well done, that alone is something to be commended.
I guess that’s where patience comes into play, too.
Because there’s something about wanting to see it through.
3. A sense of humor.
Because if you can’t put your own flair on the situation, or laugh at the dead bodies coming out of walls, {I’m still waiting for my clown in the crawlspace} … It’s important to find the humorous irony in it all. Or you will lose your ever loving mind.
I seriously had a laughing fit last summer. And then I cried. Then I laughed and cried. It was glorious. Jamin just sat there, waiting for me to finish.
{Reload the page if our fave tom hanks video isn’t loading – we appreciate it even more, now.}
If I can’t laugh… what can I do? A sense of humor will carry you far. In your coping mechanisms, design sense, and real life.
Almost as far as common sense.
4. Fortitude
Staying with what you love, and doing it because you love it, is in a sector all it’s own.
We see too much self doubt these days… too much listening to the outside voices and second guessing everything. There’s simply no way to avoid doing a space that’s magically approved by everyone. Someone will have a problem with your white walls/gold accents/fill-in-the-blank here. And they’ll let you know about it.
Sure, we’re all influenced by trends. But one of the greatest mistakes we can make is listening to the naysayers. If you love it, use it in your home. It was probs in the Taj mahal, for what it’s worth, you sexy art history beasts. What goes around, always comes around. So have the commitment to follow through with what you love, because you love it. Not because your neighbor’s sister’s mom agrees. Not because of your future homeowner’s… but you. It’s your home, and you can do what you want. Bottom line. End of story.
5. Flexibility
Maybe you planned to take on a building project, and you can’t quite figure it out. You just may break up can’t come to an agreement on the tiles. Or your budget is limiting that end look, and it’s all you can do.
Think creatively beyond the box.
Learning to roll with the punches is a fine art that’s only mastered by practicing it often. Never underestimate the power of thinking creatively, and being flexible. Sometimes an artists’ limitations can end up being their greatest strengths. {See the space were just shared, here.}
We have failures all the time.
See: our last post on moving past them. But it’s all about the process, and learning and getting back up from those punches you take directly in the face.
We’ve all been there. That’s life. There’s a lot to be said about growing from it all.
______________________________
When you look back, nothing will stand out to you about your home more than the memories made in it.
The rest, is just gravy.
So handle yourself {and life} with grace.
Where’s the fire?
Some things just aren’t a big deal when we step back and realize it’s only ten seconds of our lives. It’s all about perspective, after all. Because you have to live your life, and at the end of the day, it’s just not that big of a deal.
What are some of your favorite virtues for home redos that have come in handy for you? We’d love your input!
If you’d like to see more of our spaces, be sure to check them out here!
Wow, you show some awesome home design, and really it needs a lot of patient to turn that messy house into cozy home. You have done a perfect job!
thank you so much!
I am new to your blog but I love the way you write & your sense of humour. I need to read some of your old posts to see what you have been through. Your home looks lovely now. I especially love your bedroom.
Thanks for the clip of The Money Pit. I loved that film!!! Wonder how they filmed it? That was long before the days of CGI.
Thanks so much Shirley! You’re too sweet. A lot of it can be found in our money pit series, here if you go all the way back and start there – this is the last page and move forward from there – https://www.thehandmadehome.net/category/the-money-pit/page/3/ – I hope that helps-
Yes – I totally need to go back and have a re-watch. It’s been years and I would definitely have a greater appreciation nowadays! HAHA!